There are precious few tools at our disposal that preserve for us what a photograph preserves for us when death is at the door. Pictures of the ones who have gone become everything to the ones who are left behind — the first life raft the survivor clings to in a swirling sea of grief.
As a team photographer for Soulumination, and as lead photographer for The Ever Foundation, my job in these spaces is to tell the story of how cherished these souls are in this world, and to serve as memory keeper for those whose understandable trauma in such unrelenting circumstances won’t permit them to remember things quite as they were. Though it will never be enough, for me it is the highest honor to return some small piece of the ones we will lose to the ones who will love and miss them forever.
Adeleine was not expected to be born alive. I was called in by the wonderful team at Soulumination to capture some of the only images of her that would ever be taken. Here her family waits for her arrival.
One of the feistiest, most determined humans I’ve ever met, Adeleine had plans beyond her diagnosis. In spite of her life threatening medical challenges, I have never seen a newborn track her parents half so soon or so well as she did.
Following the sound of her mother’s voice perfectly.
Smiling from day one.
Adeleine had a few more surprises up her tiny sleeve before she left. In spite of daunting challenges, she was allowed to go home with her mom and dad.
For the two weeks Adeleine lived, all she ever knew of this world was the unwavering love and tenderness showered upon her by her family.
She is dearly missed.
Mac spent her short life in the hospital facing insurmountable medical challenges. Her parents and three older siblings loved her fiercely and remained by her side throughout. They spoke of how chatty she was, and how she loved to cuddle.
When the person they love more than anything is dying, quite understandably parents try to memorize every single part of their child so they can carry in their hearts with them as much of their little one as possible. In fact, I’m in rooms like these at all so that I can help families do this. Here, Mac’s father tries to memorize her heartbeat.
Mac was blessed by the chaplain before she passed away.
Research into end of life photography as an aid to the grieving has been published in medical journals, and has been shown to help people process their profound grief.
“We look at his nose, and he’s got the same nose as the other kids, his hair. And if it was just in my memory, I wouldn’t have that because I don’t, I can’t remember much about that day. If it wasn’t for the photos, I don’t know what I would remember, really… It’s a comfort to us. ~Father”
Professional Bereavement Photography in the Setting of Perinatal Loss: A Qualitative Analysis
Photographs like these are a way of holding on to memories of our loved ones which profound grief might otherwise obscure. In some cases, they may actually provide some of the only proof that their loved one was here at all. In either case, I have seen right up close the incredible benefit of these photographs to families facing the unthinkable.